Writers Jam

"do you know how hard it is to not be able to love someone who loves you so much?" she snapped.

"do you know how hard it is to not have anyone love you?" I retorted.

"that's not true. i love you."

"you know what i mean." i glanced at the ring on her finger.

"but why didn't you ask me? you know i was waiting for you?"

"our timing is never right," i looked away, at the dark, empty shop windows. "i was not ready. i was in a bad place. i can give you a million reasons. but it doesn't matter now." i finally met her eyes. "i've known you for, what, 15 years now? maybe it's for the best. at least you are still in my life."

"that's what you do, you know?" Her voice was quiet, but it pierced through the cold night air. "settle."

"you can't hold this against me." i cut her off, my own voice stronger than i intended.

"i know." She flinched, just slightly, and looked down at the pavement. "i'm sorry."

"it's okay."

We just stood there in silence. traffic around us thinning down. our silence was filled with all the things we hand't said in 15 years. 8 letters. 3 words. only if i had the courage.

she said finally, "i have to go."

"i know."

She looked down the dark street she was about to take, then back at me.

"i just… i hope you find your special someone. settle down." she said.

"i'll try." i forced a smile. i lied. my luck with love was abysmal.

She walked away, not before i caught a glimpse of her wiping her tears.

i stood on the corner for a long time, watching her walk away. memories flooding. i turned and walked into a life i was never ready for.