it feels different this time.
i can’t quite put my finger on it. is it the recipes i diluted so my new friends don’t find them too spicy? just a pinch of red chilli powder. no haldi, they won’t be able to stand the stains on their nails. neither can my new plates, by the way. not a lot of salt either - you don’t want your friends to complain about being bloated, do you?
or maybe its the lack of sweets. the brownies instead of motichoor laddoos. the vanilla pastry instead of kaju katlis. no saffron. sugar free. low fat. gluten free.
it could be the anglicised outfits too. the kurti and skirts with stockings. nani’s scarf and a black top - jhumkas and a bindi. boots. bangles. a coat because its chilly outside.
maybe its one of these things or maybe its the lack of hearing my mom hum while cleaning the house. maybe its that coupled with the absence of rangoli colours on my front porch. it could also be the miles that get in the way of my best friend’s hugs.
maybe its different because it isn’t home. as much as i want it to be.
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