I took the final puff and observed the smoke flowing inside my body. Why am I smoking? I thought. Maybe I hate myself. I do hate myself. I have been trying to love myself for some time now. I did the so called diet, skin care, and therapy. They showed some visual improvements. I cannot make peace with who I am and who I’m becoming.
What exactly is self love? Are there even prescribed methods for it? I don’t know. Why is it so easy to love someone else and so difficult to love yourself? Maybe the emphasis on loving yourself is what makes the process difficult. You can’t force your way to love someone. You have to genuinely love someone for who they are without changing them.
But there’s a problem with self love, you’re trying to change yourself and love yourself at the same time, which means there’s a part of yourself that you don’t like that you are changing. Sure, love and hate can coexist, but can our minds process it?
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