Writers Jam

Hey stranger,

I woke up to an early morning rain. I am having a sore throat. Maybe because of smoking last night. Still I put dried ginger and pepper in my coffee today and managed to smoke another.I was sitting in the front veranda. Jasmine in the front yard has started blooming. White flowers; I love. You know I always loved jasmine and its scent. 

I have began to read Kafka on the shore. I am already syncing to the character just in three chapters I think. Maybe I should vanish like him too. To some far place. I have been thinking about this recently.

What would i do if life ever goes really upside on me? I was thinking I would just pack my bag..take my camera and my MacBook and I will pack my tent and just get down the road,wandering lost. Maybe I will capture the world I see, and I will shoot videos for small high range cafes and stays for food and a place for me to camp at nights. And help them with cooking and managing property and create contents for food and stay. And just hang around the village and make friends with people there. Smoke good weed lol and get high and meet more people and look at the stars at night and write down my thoughts and maybe even write an imaginary story. I could just find stories among the villagers and just film it. if I could ever do it truly rather than all these institutional and business stuffs. I want to just capture and create something true. Less sound effects and overlays and burning effects. Emotional, happy or sad..it should have love and connection, love of me and love of the whole world. This thought is keeping me alive. Sometimes I think I want to be pursuing greatness and I should compete with all the people in the world and people around me. But then at times I think what’s the point? Running running running. Maybe I should be more chasing inside me than outside, and stay calm on my decisions. Just wait and see what happens. And vanish like I never existed.

A stream floating from some far place becomes river and still flow not knowing the destination and never attaining its imagination, it just flows until some day it reaches a point where it falls deep down and drops; as one. Until it flows again to an endless end. To the roots and beyond.

i remember my friend told me once that the purpose of our life is to just survive and reproduce. Then i just stayed silent and chaotic. But later as i was thinking i felt the purpose of life is to serve, as a tree could shade, as a flower could sweeten the bee, as a fish could tickle the stream (idk) and this thought makes me wanna live because i love this journey and where its taking me..i have been able to enjoy the sadness and happiness as it is. I just wanna feel what I really feel and i wanna let this journey decide where i truly belongs.

Idk I am writing something randomly now I can’t even bother to read back what I was writing. I feel good right now and I hope wherever you are, whatever tea you’re drinking, whatever song is stuck in your head you’re feeling good too. Let this letter find you like the last light of evening, slowly, carefully, like a prayer.

Write back, Yas