Writers Jam

06:32 i wake up. it's a cold morning – i've been sleeping without my shirt on because it's hot in the evenings – and i find myself covered in goosebumps. wordlessly i trudge down the ladder from my hostel bed, which i've taken to calling a coffin loft.

06:32 you wake up. they've got their arm around you and you give them a little poke in the belly. "wake up, sleepyhead," you say. "mnrrrrm. what time is it?" comes the response. you flip over and plant a morning-breath kiss on their forehead. "time to go to class."

06:47 i brush my teeth, nodding in acknowledgement at my floor-mates that pass by. people in various stages of getting ready move in and out of the bathroom as the floor begins to wake up.

06:47 you brush your teeth elbow-to-elbow with them, blissfully unaware of the others around you in their various miseries. they splash water at you playfully, getting you to hurry up. you watch them with a quiet, content grin.

06:54 a boy in one of the other showers is playing sad music. i hum along to the tinny speaker as i try and cleanse myself of the feeling i woke up with.

06:54 you wash each other's backs, teasing and touching. nothing to cleanse there.

07:22 i head to the hostel mess, mitski playing in my ears. there is poha. i load up a plate and eat in silence, something that isn't hunger gnawing at my insides.

07:22 you groan at the menu, and tell them that it's poha today. they joke about running away from this place, and you say you'd be right behind them.

07:48 i leave the mess, walking to the academic building slowly. i'm early today. these days there's nothing for me in my room. i spend as much of my time as i can outside.

07:48 you're holding hands as you walk. you chatter about what class is going to be about today, and where you can get lunch.

07:54 i get into AB-1, the lift just beginning to flash its AT CAPACITY sign as i reach the door.

07:54 you're standing inside, still holding hands with them. your eyes catch mine and a pained expression flashes over your face.

07:55 i wonder if that might've been us if you hadn't done what you did. I check my watch, it's nearly time for class. i turn around and walk to the stairwell as the lift door closes behind me.