Writers Jam

I am feeling like I don’t belong in the group chat. Kaha sab ke sab writers and kaha mai jisne English exams ke alawa writing ke baare mein bass socha hi hai. Manjot, you gotta stop trying to write something genius and perfect. Stop trying to think of alternative words that may sound more sophisticated. Waah, snitch pe sale chal rahi hai. Try to fight the urge to switch tabs and see what is going on in the group chat. The keyboard looks like it can have infinite possible combinations and permutations, from which one of them could tell you guys how I feel, but I myself have no idea. I have been feeling like I am not at home for a while. There was a time I believed I could find a home wherever I went. I am a nomad that way. I am living with my family, and it does not feel like home. The gogh-getters have felt more warm and welcoming than my house. Manjot, you need to stop oversharing. It is literally the first session. Now, I am restricting my writing, and I should let it flow. Oh fuck, people are gonna think I am crazy because of my inner monologue being so crazy and whatnot. And Dhanashree is gonna psychoanalyse the fuck out of me. Bhenchodd, my father is here, and now he is gonna tell me some way I am fucking up my life and not living up to his standards. Thank fuck he is silent, hope he stays silent for now. If he starts speaking, I am gonna start singing Chaar Diwari ka Farebi in my head. Don’t just stare at the keyboard. Syncing my notifications to my laptop was such a huge mistake, so distracting fuck. This would go so much better if I had resumed meditation like I have been planning and putting off for so long. Thanks, Grammarly, for fixing my punctuation mistakes. Now it is gonna sound like my post is a paid partnership, great. Others are writing so well, and I am here just typing my chaotic inner monologue. Guess that is what happens when you haven’t written in so long. Also, sab sochenge ki he has just written whatever he is thinking, but yaar everything I think makes me feel a certain way, and that culminates into my overall mood. Khud ko dilaasa de ab, itna chaotic isliye tha because I am stepping out of my comfort zone to write this. Of course, explain karna zaroori tha, because I have a huge fear of people taking me wrong. Now, again resist the urge to read it again and refine, just post it and dekha jaayega sab strangers hi toh hai.