Writers Jam

You hurt me once, and then again, like pain was some inheritance I was meant to accept. Maybe I deserved it? Maybe I was too naive to walk away before love turned into a venom that i’d still choose for you. to feel loved by you.

I wonder if you’re just projecting your own failures onto me when you say “You won’t make it”? Maybe you’re right. But even if I crumble, won’t you be there to hold me?

It’s strange. When I lost, you didn’t even blink. No comfort. No warmth. Just indifference.

Fine, I’ll win.

“Good for you.”

Oh.

The echo of applause that never came was louder than I imagined it to be in my head.

Meanwhile, someone else who lost, who broke, was held like gold. They were consoled. They were seen.

How envious could I be?

My win was a delusion and I lost yet again .

I think of her that little girl, standing in the doorway with hope in her eyes and drawings in her hands, just waiting for you to notice.

So if you ever wonder what happened to her why she’s distant, why she never comes home, why she stopped trying

Just know: she didn’t stop loving. She just stopped waiting.

She was the one that got away.