i lie back on my bed staring at the ceiling
theres a clutter around me, there always is a mess in my mind
but i know exactly where my chapstick
my earphones my music is
but there is something else in my room
it fills the air between me and my sister
seeping through the walls and settling under
our beds like dust and sighs
theres a yearning in my room that wont
leave every breath i take
it seeps into my lungs
tarred and thick like a cigarette
maybe if i close my eyes
i can convince myself that the pain is beautiful
and that my lungs will breathe again
it crawls under my skin
yearning so sharp and sweet
like the nails of a lover on your back
there are traces of it under my fingernails
like im the lover
in the cracks of my lips in the way my
heart stills when i allow myself to think
theres a yearning in my room and
goosebumps on my arms
a hunger in my heart that refuses
to be satiated would be to live
theres a yearning in my room tonight
and im afraid if leave it will follow me.
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