nightmares endorsing petrification lately.
forcing myself back to sleep to forget.
late to work to ensure a job well done.
everyone else’s face
sitting miles from mine
like i’ll get there soon.
i can’t cry anymore. that sucks.
i used to love crying.
i miss his hands today.
his breath.
his voice.
bet someone else holds them now.
i peel back the static
and try to agree it’s better this way.
he called it pathetic.
i call it another monday.
thinking about instability as a paid gig—
hourly, per personality.
i’d make a killing.
i am large and sinking into the bed.
i pray my nightly prayers.
he walks under the skin
and leaves through the hole in my head.
just another idea.
she’s so cool. so crazy.
it’s all a front.
i’m a sponge with eyes.
i’m insufferable and lazy.
it’s all i have left inside.
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